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Greyfox
04-01-2013, 08:57 AM
Everyone knows that pulling a vaccum can enhance sap flow, so I thought that perhaps some positive pressure, strategically applied, might have an advantage as well. You see I tapped early this year and here at the end of the season my flow has been low. I thought that if I could give a short, sharp shot of pressure UP the trees perhaps I could break loose one last good run.

I went to my town library and found a book from the 1940's called "The Chemistry of Powder and Explosives" and read up on some energetic materials that might be of use. With this new-found knowledge in mind I stopped by my local chemical supplier and bought the necessary supplies from a particularly agitated and surly fellow who kept muttering things like "crackpot", "B.A.T.F", and "Homeland Security." After giving him seven forms of ID, I took my supplies back to the sugarhouse and made up a batch of "wake-up juice."

First of all, let me explain that the metric system has always been confusing to me. I assumed that the notation "ml" stood for "metric liters", not "milileters," so the batch of product that I cooked up was about three orders of magnitude on the large side. This became apparent to me shortly. Undaunted, I packed my tubing full of nitro and let her rip.

The next several hours are rather a blur. On the on hand, there were some positive results:
1) Next year my tubing should flow very well. My 5/16" tubing now averages closer to 3" diamiater, although there are rather a lot of holes and burned spots.
2) I saved many hours of labor-intensive pulling of taps. It seems that as the pressure wave passed through them at 4000 meters per second they all popped off at once.
The down-side is that the procedure didn't actually enhance sap flow. The cellular structure of the maples channeled the pressure wave up to the treetops and actually blew the buds off the branches, resulting in a carpet of red in my sugarwoods about 2" thick. You can actually see it from Google Earth; just look for a two acre red circle enclosed by a yellow tape which reads: "police line, do not cross."

Oh, just a reminder, check today's date......April Fools...

Doc

ihuntbear
04-02-2013, 05:25 PM
hahahahaha u had me laughing out loud as I read...my wife didn't know why.....nice

Sugarmaker's dad
04-02-2013, 07:52 PM
Excellent! You are a master storyteller.

noreast maple
04-04-2013, 09:17 AM
Awsome!! I was laughing so hard reading this ,my wife asked if you really did it , untill ishowed her the last sentence. nice job, she walked away calling me an ahole and laughing herself to tears.

Greyfox
04-04-2013, 10:07 AM
Thanks guys. I thought it would be fun to share a laugh with some friends here. Glad you enjoyed it.

Doc

TheMapleMoose
04-10-2013, 07:23 PM
Always nice to get an unexpected laugh

Yorkholomaple
04-18-2013, 05:40 PM
That was great! We need a thread just for stories! I know the old timers have lots of great stories that have been passed down over the years.